Isn't she lovely?
by call-of-the-mind
Summary: Isis is a transfer student at MicKinley High and she's got more than just boy problems. Her life at home isn't anywhere near good- but if home is where the heart is, could she leave this hurt behind for the hot Sam? Read about them singing their heart out
1. Chapter 1

I walked down the halls of a new school, feeling the stares of numerous kids who'd probably lived in Lima, Ohio for their entire lives, and had gone to this school for all of their highschool careers. I shook my wavy elbow-length brown hair slightly, getting out of my face. I brushed back my side-bangs, and saw a bright pink sheet on a bulletin board. I walked over, and it said 'New Directions- McKinley High's Glee Club'. I grinned, writing down my name. At my old school there hadn't been a Glee Club, seeing as in Canada, they thought it was appropriate to have choir instead, singing all of the songs at mass- or maybe that was just the catholic High schools. Either way, this was going to be fun- hopefully. I wanted my senior year to be great. I looked at my red long sleeve and hastily pulled it down to my fingers.

I turned after writing 'Isis Taylor' on the list, and got a faceful of cold. I spat out the slushie, and wiped it out of my eyes, furious. I saw the football player walking away, and I yelled at him. "Hey! Jackass!" He turned to face me, with the cup in hand.

"What's wrong new girl? Just initiating you into the glee loser club." he laughed. I just stared at him.

"What the fuck is your problem? You think that because you weigh about fifty pounds more than most kids in school and because you're on the football team you can push me around? I come from Canada, where it is freezing for more than half the year, and where jackasses like you are losing children daily from girls like me. So, for the sake of your future children, don't _push_ me." I snapped.

"Oh you just think you're allowed to do anything, that you own the place well that's where you're-" he was stopped when my fist collided with his nose.

"I _told_ you not to push me. I don't have any tolerance for good-for-nothing jackasses. Have a horrid day." I walked away, holding my slushied head high.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

When I saw the new girl punch Korofsky, and then walk away, with slushie in her hair, yet keeping her head high, and looking good, i felt this weird feeling inside my chest. I shook it off and walked off to my locker, that was, incidentally, right beside hers.

"Hey. I'm Sam." I held out my hand to her, which she looked at for a few seconds, and then took hesitantly. "You might want to get cleaned off."

"Yeah. I guess I should." she lifted up her red tinted hair and I closed our lockers, and pulled her into the girls washroom with me- she'd be more comfortable in here. I had her sit down on a chair that the Glee girls had put in here for this reason, and helped her wash her hair in the sink. I then got the towel the girls keep in the tampon dispensor -long story- and cleaned off her face, and dried her hair.

-.-.-.-.-.-.

"You didn't need to do this you know Sam. We don't even know each other." I said, noticing how close his face was.

"Yes we do, you know my name and I-" he hesitated for a second, "don't know yours."

"Isis." I answered, smiling.

"Well, Isis, you're all cleaned up and-" the bell rang, "you're going to be late for your first class at McKinley. And tryouts for Glee are tonight at 4. Don't be late." he winked, and left.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Isis walked onto the stage at 4:00 in the auditorium, looking nervous.

"Alright Isis, sing away." Mr. S said.

"Okay.. um I'm going to be singing Toy Soldiers by Marianas Trench. I hope it's alright." she said hesitantly. "Who'll be my Montague now,  
>To this broken Capulet<br>How, how, how if not for you  
>And you'll be my local hero<br>Be my role model  
>And don't, don't, don't fail me now<p>

(My love)

Don't you want love,  
>Don't you want love,<br>I'm your biggest fan  
>It's so good to finally meet ya<br>I deserve a little more  
>Wouldn't you say-oh, a-oh, a-oh<p>

(My love)

Don't you want love,  
>Don't you want too<br>Don't you think I deserve better after all that we've been through (love)  
>Don't you want love (love)<br>Now what you say-oh, a-oh, a-oh

To-o-o-o-o-oy soldiers  
>I'll follow you like<br>To-o-o-o-o-oy soldiers  
>I'll follow you like<br>To-o-o-o-o-oy soldiers  
>I'll follow you like<br>To-o-o-o-o-oy soldiers

I'll follow you like  
>To-o-o-o-o-oy soldiers<br>I'll follow you like  
>To-o-o-o-o-oy soldiers<br>I'll follow you like  
>To-o-o-o-o-oy soldiers<br>I'll follow you like  
>To-o-o-o-o-oy soldiers<p>

Toy soldiers

I will love you like goodbye  
>I will love you like you died, died<br>Martyred for me

(My love)

Don't you want love  
>Don't you want this<br>Don't you look so shocked  
>This was not the way I planned it<br>I deserve a little more  
>Wouldn't you say-oh, a-oh, a-oh<p>

(My love)  
>[ Lyrics from: .comlyrics/m/marianas_trench/toy_ ]  
>Don't you want love,<br>Don't you fight back  
>Know this will hurt less if you just submit so (love)<br>How bout a little gratitude  
>For what I say-oh, a-oh, a-oh<p>

To-o-o-o-o-oy soldiers  
>I'll follow you like<br>To-o-o-o-o-oy soldiers  
>I'll follow you like<br>To-o-o-o-o-oy soldiers  
>I'll follow you like<br>To-o-o-o-o-oy soldiers

I'll follow you like  
>To-o-o-o-o-oy soldiers<br>I'll follow you like  
>To-o-o-o-o-oy soldiers<br>I'll follow you like  
>To-o-o-o-o-oy soldiers<br>I'll follow you like  
>To-o-o-o-o-oy soldiers<p>

They don't know you  
>Not like I do<br>Only you and I were meant to be  
>Understand you<br>Just like I do  
>Just like you and I were meant to be forever<p>

One day you will  
>Learn to love me<br>One day you will  
>Thank me, you'll see<br>If I can't have you  
>No one can<p>

Follow you like (toys)  
>To-o-o-o-o-oy soldiers<br>I'll follow you like  
>To-o-o-o-o-oy soldiers<br>I'll follow you like (follow you like toys)  
>To-o-o-o-o-oy soldiers<br>I'll follow you like  
>To-o-o-o-o-oy soldiers<p>

I'll follow

Understand you  
>Just like I do<br>Just like you and I were meant to be  
>Don't know you<br>Not like I do  
>Only you and I were meant to be<p>

Understand you  
>Just like I do<br>Just like you and I were meant to be forever." She finished, looking down at the floor, and then looking out at us.

-.-.-.-.

I met Sam's eyes hesitantly, and when everyone started cheering and clapping and smiling, I smiled slightly as well. I'd done well.

"Welcome to New Directions Isis." Mr. S said, smiling.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"She's going to steal your spotlight Mercedes!" Rachel yelled at me.

"Look Rachel, I don't care. Just leave it alone. She's good, and she deserves the spotlight just as much as the rest of us. Don't make this another Sunshine." I answered.

"Mercedes is right Rachel. Leave it alone." Kurt agreed.

"She's hot." Puck blurted and got glared at by Sam.

-.-.-.-

When I walked into the choir room, everyone fell silent, and I walked awkwardly to the seat next to Sam, who was sitting nearest to the door. Mr.S walked in and wrote 'Josh Ramsay' on the board, which filled me with elation. I started bouncing in my seat and when Mr.S. turned around and had song sheets in his hands. He placed them down on the piano, and started walking.

"So, you are probably wondering why I wrote this name on the board. But after Isis sang her song, I decided to look up this band, seeing as I had no idea who they were, and I found some inspiring stories. Josh Ramsay went through horrible things, things that some of you could only imagine. He was bulimic, annorexic, he had a drug addiction, he never finished highschool- and his songs are all about these things. Take the song Skin and Bones for example. It's about how he had bulimia and it was always taking over, and he could never control it. So, this week, I want each of you to choose one of their songs, one that you feel that you can empathize with, one that is meaningful to you, and what you may be going through at home, or at school. If you need any help, I'm sure Isis would love to help you." Mr.S. explained, and everyone looked mostly at a loss, and Rachel, Kurt, and Mercedes looked especially furious.

"That's not fair Mr. Schu! None of us even know who they are!" Rachel exclaimed.

"Well Rachel, it's time to explain your horizons. And besides, now you know how those of the Glee club feel when they don't know the song." Mr. Schu. answered and left the room. "That's my final word on the matter."

The next day in homeroom Sam sat next to me, in the back of the class, closest to the door and farthest from the teachers desk.

"And so the people..." the teacher droned.

"So what genre are Marina's Trench?" Sam asked, leaning close to me and whispering, while the teacher wrote something on the board.

"It's Marianas Trench, and they're Punk/Rock, more on the punk side though." I answered, looking at the clock. Ten more minutes to go.

"Why don't you come over tonight, and we can go through the CD's." he said.

"No." I answered.

"Great I'll pick you up at- wait what? Why?" he asked, looking into my eyes with his blue ones.

I looked away as the bell rang, and gathered my books quickly. "Because I'm just not interested." I ran from the room, not stopping at my locker.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

At lunch I saw Isis sitting alone by the window, with a notebook and pen, jotting down random things, and then looking out at the grounds. She was biting her lower lip, and looked upset. She tucked her brown side-bangs out of her face, and went back to writing again. I sucked in a deep breath and walked over to her.

"Isis." I said.

She looked up and regarded me quizically. "Sam." she answered.

"Look. I know we don't know each other that well but I'm just asking that you give me a chance. It's all I want. Please." I pleaded with her.

"Sam I want to give you a chance, I really do, but if you knew all that I've been through, you'd understand how I feel." she gathered her notebook up, and got up, leaving the ledge, and me, behind.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

I looked at the lyrics on the computer with disbelief. How could lyrics this good be Punk/Rock. It doesn't make sense. But here it is. It's a chance to express myself like I haven't before, as well. Not since Get It Right, at least.

I walked into the choir room first the next day, waiting for the rest of the club to arrive, so I could sing my song. I was already prepared, and I was going to win this thing- even though there was really no contest. So I guess really, I was just going to blow this to only-notes-Rachel-can-hit-proportions.

Everyone entered the class, and Finn came and sat beside me, smiling. He smelled nice, clean, but he wasn't one to wear colognes or any things like that. When Mr. Schuester entered the class, and got the attention of the piano player.

"I've already got my song Mr. Schu." I smiled.

"Well go ahead Rachel." Mr Schu said, and sat down in his seat.

"I look around, round, look around and look it over,  
>I take it up- up, take it out and, take you nowhere,<br>Trading in who I've been for shiny celebrity skin  
>I like to push it and, push it until my luck is over.<br>It never stop stops, never stops, well you better,  
>Think it over prima donna you don't want to sever,<br>All the work to impress, charming girls out of their dresses,  
>And smiling pretty, well pretty will shallow you forever<p>

Step one, step two, step three repeat  
>And I pray at the church, of asses in the seats,<br>And disappear behind the beat, yeah

When the mirrors and the lights  
>And the smoke clear I'd never guess<br>How we ever coulda got here.  
>You can say what you say<br>When the lights go down  
>So shake, shake, shake,<br>And shut your mouth

I wonder why, why, I wonder why, why I oughta,  
>Let you wreck, resurrect whatever you want to.<br>I can't depend, in the end you know  
>I thought you were my friend.<br>Just stop, just stop, just stop I think I got it.  
>Sorry you, sorry me, sorry every in between,<br>Sorry everybody you will never be somebody clean.  
>There's a piece of me they're throwing back at us,<br>And they will buy you and sell you for celebrity status  
>[ Lyrics from: .comlyrics/m/marianas_trench/celebrity_ ]  
>Step one, step two, step three repeat<br>And I pray at the church of asses in the seats  
>I disappear behind beat, yeahhhh<p>

When the mirrors and the lights  
>And the smoke clear, I'd never guess<br>How we ever coulda got here.  
>You can say what you say<br>When the lights go down  
>So shake, shake, shake,<br>And shut your mouth

When the mirrors and the lights  
>And the smoke clear, I'd never guess<br>How we ever coulda got here.  
>You can say what you say<br>When the lights go down  
>So shake, shake, shake<br>And shut your mouth

(Look around round, look around round, look around)x5  
>I'm tryin' I'm tyrin' I'm tryin' (Look around round, look around round, look around)<br>I'm tryin' I'm tryin' I'm tryin' (Look around round, look around round, look around)  
>I'm tryin' I'm tyrin' I'm tryin' (Look around round, look around round, look around)<br>I'm tryin' I'm tryin' I'm tryin' (Look around round, look around round, look around)

When the mirrors and the lights  
>And the smoke clear I'd never guess<br>How we ever coulda got here.  
>You can say what you say<br>When the lights go down  
>So shake, shake, shake,<br>And shut your mouth

When the mirrors and the lights  
>And the smoke clear I'd never guess<br>How we ever coulda got here.  
>You can say what you say<br>When the lights go down  
>So shake, shake, shake,<br>And shut your mouth

I'm tryin' I'm tryin' I'm tryin'" I grinned and took a bow, and Finn started clapping, and so did Isis, so the rest of them started clapping half-heartedly- they were probably feeling their talent diminished in the face of mine- and then stopped when Mr. Schu went to the front of the class.

"That was great Rachel. Why did you choose it?" Mr. Schu asked.

"It's called Celebrity Status. And that's what I'm going to gain, very, very soon." she grinned.

"Alright- tomorrow Isis will perform, and then Sam will. Great work guys!" Mr Schu exclaimed, and we all left to go home.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"STOP YELLING! CAN'T YOU JUST BE QUIET FOR TWO MINUTES! AND GET OUT OF MY WAY! I'M TRYING TO WATCH TV!" My dad yelled. My little brothers ran upstairs in tears- they'd only been playing. They were only small. They didn't know any better.

I shook my head at him. "You don't realize how much this hurts them."

"I DON'T NEED YOUR COMMENTARY ON MY ACTIONS ISIS!" he screamed, his face going red.

I turned and walked away.

"DON'T TURN YOUR BACK WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOUR GIRL!" he yelled, and when I didn't stop, he ran up and squeezed my arm tightly, and turned me to face him. "Don't _ever_ tell me how to run my house. Understand?" he growled. I nodded, trying to keep the tears back. When he let go, I walked quickly up to my purple room, and closed the door, careful not to slam the door.

_Why do bad things happen to good people? Fathers are supposed to be there for you when you're hurt- not be the cause of your hurt in the firstplace. This isn't fair. Lucas and Sean shouldn't have to deal with this. They're so small. They don't need this as an example of how to act. _ I wiped my face and went to the bathroom. I made sure nobody was anywhere near here, and I turned the tap on, and also the bathtub on, and opened the drawer beneath the sink, and reached up on the top, and felt the cool metal of my addiction, and my curse. I took the knife out and cried as I drew a long line across my wrist, just below where my shoulder started, and cleaned it, dried it, and put it back. I sat the for a long time, letting in bleed into the toilet, and when it stopped I looked down, at the new cut, and the numerous pink, and white scars from back in Ottawa. Things hadn't been... great... there, and they would hopefully be better here.

I tried to cry, when I looked at the horrible things I was doing to myself, but I couldn't cry anymore. I didn't have any tears left. _Why do I do this? I don't want to. I don't. I just... I just can't stop. It's horrible. And if Dad ever found out... he'd kick me out. Or worse._

I entered the choir room a little later than everyone else, and I was wearing a moderately tight long-sleeve, with looser arms, and was green, and matched my eyes. They looked as if they'd been waiting for me, so I smiled slighty and took a deep breath. "I'm going to sing Vertigo, by Marianas Trench." I was about to start when Mr. Schu interrupted me.

"And why did you choose this song Isis?" he asked.

I took a deep breath. "This song is about when Josh was hurting himself, but I also can pull my own meaning from it..." I sighed, closing my eyes, and pushing back the tears burning the back of my eyes. "I just get what he's talking about, I guess." I finished.

"Wait, Isis. Is there something going on, that you want to share with us? You can trust us with anything, and everything." 's brow creased in worry, and seeing him like that made me even more upset. That's what a father was supposed to be like. "If there's something going on we can help you."

"Mr. Schu thanks but-"

"Isis we're here for you, you don't need to feel alone." Sam said and I closed my eyes tightly.

"Please. Can I just sing the song? I just. Please. I can't deal with this right now. I don't want to talk. I don't help. Please just, let me sing the song." I finished, and opened my eyes. They all looked concerned, but I ignored it. I didn't want their sympathy. I wanted a father that didn't verbally- and even physically- abuse us, and I didn't want to be a cutter. I don't want to be addicted to cutting myself, hurting myself. But that's how it is.

"This might sting a bit

You got here just in time to see everything fall apart

I'm not upset at all

But it's sad to see that everybody knows

That I've been down in here before and maybe I could want it more

I know I never tried to stop, I never try

Shut your mouth and, hey

So what's one more excuse, guess

I just like the abuse

Dizzied up in my never try vertigo

They're calling out for blood, guess it's just understood

Said we'd always try, as long as

I just don't do

Disappointed

and noone thought that this would be me and my everything

Is this pound of flesh enough

and I cut away until you say enough

I've been down in here before and maybe I could hit some more

I know I never tried to stop I never try

Shut your mouth and, hey

So what's one more excuse, guess

I just like the abuse

Dizzied up in my never try vertigo

They're calling out for blood, guess it's just understood

Said we'd always try, as long as

I just don't do

Heartbeat, Heartbeat

Hey

So what's one more excuse, guess

I just like the abuse

Dizzied up in my never try vertigo

They're calling out for blood, guess it's just understood

Said we'd always try, as long as

So what's a little vertigo? (Tell me what you wanna know)

So what's a little vertigo? (Tell me what you wanna know)

So what's a little vertigo? (Tell me what you wanna know)

So what's a little vertigo? (Tell me what you wanna know)

So what's a little vertigo? (Tell me what you wanna know)." The guys who'd obviously heard this song already, sang the 'tell me what you wanna know's. I had tears rolling down my face, and everyone came up and gave me a huge group hug. I started sobbing, and I felt some of them leave, and eventually it was just me and one other person- I guess he'd told to go on.

Sam held me the whole time, and I buried my face in my shirt- I didn't want him to think of me like this. I could take care of myself. There were things in his life that must be worse than mine.

I lifted my head, sniffling slightly, and managed a small smile. "You didn't have to stay with me." I hugged him slightly tighter for a second. "But I'm glad you did."

He leaned down and looked into my eyes. "Isis, I was out of line, when I kept pursuing you when you said you weren't ready. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry. I just.. you have no idea of what I'm dealing with and I can't begin to add another thing to my list of priorities." I sighed. "I'm a horrible person. You must have a whole lot to deal with, I shouldn't be dumping my problems on you."

"Isis, I can wait. And you're not a horrible person." I turned away, and he grabbed my shoulders softly, and tugged gently for me to turn around. I complied, and looked into his blue eyes with my green ones. "You're not _dumping_ your problems on me. Yeah, I had some problems, but the operative word there is '_had'_I'm fine now. Please _please_ don't feel like you shouldn't confide in me, because you shouldn't trouble me. I will _always_ be here for you Isis."

I nodded, and tried to take a deep breath in. "Thank you Sam. But I really just can't confide in you, when my problems don't matter." I turned and walked out, and he ran after me, but I just picked up my pace, and my mother pulled up closer to the school when she saw me exit, and I hopped in, closing the door, and not looking back at Sam.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"So, since Sam never really got his chance to sing yesterday, he'll be singing now." Mr. Schu introduced.

"Okay. Uhm well, I'm singing Good to You. And yes I know ti's sung as a duet but.. well I'm singing it alone." Sam started. "And, well I guess I need to say why.." he looked at for confirmation, who nodded, so he continued. "Well, I chose this song... well this song's for Isis." He finished, looking right at me. My eyes widened slightly, and I blushed, and my heart did a wierd little flip-flop in my chest, and I got fluttery feeling in my stomach. _That's odd..._ I thought, about my wierd feelings. I shook my head and listened to him sing.

"Everyones around  
>No words are coming out<br>And I can't find my breath, can we just say the rest with no sound?  
>And none of this is enough<br>I still don't measure up  
>And I'm not prepared, sorry is never there when you need it<br>And now I do, want you to know I hold you up above everyone  
>And I do, want you to know I think you'd be good to me and I'd be so good to you<p>

(I, would)

I thought I saw a sign'  
>Somehwere bewteen the lines<br>Or maybe it's me, maybe I only see what I want  
>[ Lyrics from: .comlyrics/m/marianas_trench/good_to_ ]  
>Well I still have your letter<br>Just got caught between someone I just invented  
>Who I really am<br>And who I've become

And now I do want you to know I hold you up above everyone  
>And I do want you to know I think you'd be good to me, and I'd be so good to you<p>

(Woah oh woah oh oh woah oh oh oh oh oh woah oh oh oh etc.)

Yeaahhhh, yeahhh

I, I, would.

And I do want you to know I hold you up above everyone  
>And I do<br>Want you to know I think you'd be good to me  
>And I'd be so good to you<br>I'd be good to you  
>I'd be good to you<br>I'd be good to you  
>I'd be so good to you<br>I'd be good to you  
>I'd be good to you<br>I'd be good to you  
>I'd be so good to you." He finished and was staring right at me. "I know I said I could wait Isis, and I can, and I will, for as long as it takes, but I just had to sing this song to you, to prove it." He grinned. I smiled slightly, and My gaze went from his blue eyes, to his lips, and I got caught up on them. Most people would call his lips overly large, or girly, or too full, but, honestly, I thought they were the best part of him... except, maybe his eyes.<p>

"It was fantastic Sam." I smiled shyly and everyone in the class cheered, and Puck and Finn slapped him on the back, congratulating him on moving forward in my eyes. Akward.

-.-.-.-.-.

I was at my locker, and I was getting my books to leave. The hallway was mostly empty, with Sam over at Finn's locker, talking and a few other people who I didn't know at theirs as well. I turned the other direction, and saw Korofsky approaching, with a cup in hand. I turned away, sure that he wouldn't slushie me again. That was, until the cold liiquid hit my head. I shreeched as it hit me, and turned quickly, and my sleeve got caught in the door of my locker, ripping up the side, exposing my arm, and the pink scars beneath.

"Shit." I swore beneath my breath. I turned to Korofsky and yelled at him. "You are a _jackass_ that is so self-consumed, that he thinks that he's the king of the world. You practically have people fanning you and dropping palm branches as you walk the halls. You are a sad excuse for a man." I turned and slammed my locker closed. I grabbed my jacket and my bag. Finn and Sam were now squaring off with Korofsky.

"What is your problem man? What happened to the Portection whatever? What happened to being a good person?" Finn asked. Sam had him by the shirt. I dropped my things, and ran up to him.

"Sam! SAM!" I tugged at his arms. He turned and looked at me. "Stop! He's not worth it! Stop! I don't need you to fight my battles!"

"Yes you do, Grape Slushie." He countered.

I glared. "Let him go this time then. Just once."

"Fine." He dropped Korofsky's jacket, and Korofsky jogged away, and Sam and Finn both looked pissed.

"You can't just let him push you around like that Isis!" Finn exclaimed.

"Did you not see me yelling at him?"

"Yeah but you just let it go after that! Last time you squared off with him you punched him! And now you just let him go? Come on Isis!" Finn argued. His blue tee-shirt was slightly wrinkled from his efforts to subdue, and yell at Korofsky, and Sam's red one was even more so.

"Because I don't to be like my father!" I screamed and closed my mouth abruptly, wishing I could take back what I'd just said. I turned and hurried away, picking up my backpack, and both of them followed me, running forward, and cutting me off.

Sam looked deeply into my eyes, with a don't-you-dare-lie-to-me look that said that I'd better not disobey him. "What do you mean you don't want to be like your father? Isis? Answer me."

I turned and ran into Finn. "I don't want to talk about it okay?" I snapped but they persisted.

"Isis." Finn said sternly.

"Finn." I mimicked, and pushed Sam.

He grabbed my right wrist gently, and I looked down to see that my sleeve was ripped right up to the shoulder- and he could see the pink lines all over my arm. He could also see some finger-shaped bruises on my upper arm, from my father, yesterday. "Isis. Who did this to you? Was this your father?" He growled.

I looked away, ready to cry. I was shaking uncontrollably, so, so scared of what was going to happen now that the truth was out. "J-just the bruises." I stuttered.

"Isis... have you been cutting yourself?" Finn asked gently. I nodded, not able to fess up out loud.

"Isis you shouldn't let your father do this to you! He can't do this! There must be something we can do!" Sam looked frustrated, as if he wanted to help, but didn't know how.

"There's nothing you can do." I whispered.

"What about your Mother?" Finn asked.

"She's a drug addict- she hardly ever comes down from her bedroom, and when she does, she's stoned, and has Dad made bruises all over her." A tear slipped out of one of my eyes. " I never wanted anyone to find out. I shouldn't have done this.. I should've just dealt with it.. I should've been stronger for my brothers..."

"Isis, my parents would definitely let you come and stay, I'd just need to ask and make sure, but you could come and live with us, if you'd like." Sam smiled. I smiled weakly at him, feeling so scared and happy at the same time. These things, ones that are different, are always scary.

"And if you can't live there, you can come and live with Kurt and me. Our parents would definitely let a fellow Gleeclubber come and stay when you needed it." Finn smiled.

"Thank you- both of you." I sucked in a deep breath, trying to stop my shaking. "But I don't want to be a burden, I don't really matter enough to-"

"You definitely matter Isis! You matter a whole lot, and you deserve love, and caring, and the best." Sam said. "Don't you ever, _ever_ forget that. You're beautiful."

"And this is where I take my leave." Finn said awkwardly. "I'll see you guys tomorrow. I'll ask my parents about it tonight. I hope you don't mind living one last night at your house."

"I'll ask tonight too." Sam agreed.

"No. One night isn't a problem. And thank you." Finn left, and I turned to Sam. "This is why I've been pushing you away..."

"And I completely understand why." Sam smiled.

I got up on my tippy-toes and kissed him, catching him fully by surprise. I pulled away and he looked stunned, and absolutely ecstatic. I bit my lower lip softly. "I've been wanting to do that for awhile.." I smiled shyly.

"Woah." Was all he said. He was grinning like a fool. "Does this mean you'll be my girlfriend?" he asked.

"Maybe." I winked, and kissed him again, and he held me in his arms, in an embrace that was just for the two of us.

**OKAY so that was the first chapter. Please REVIEWWWWW and tell me how you liked it. And just saying, this _does _actually happen.. one of my friends went through it. :/ it sucks, even on the sidelines. Anyways, REVIEWWWW**


	2. Chapter 2

"Hey guys!" I cried to my kids, and they all gave me half-hearted smiles or hello's. I frowned. Something was up. "Who wants to sing a song?" I asked.

Rachel sighed. "If I need to I will. If not then no one."

They all looked...bored. In _Glee Club_. These are kids that are always excited, kids that _love_ to sing. Singing if their heart, their soul, their way of expressing themselves and getting through tough situations. It's almost as if they've lost all of their... craziness.

And I was going to get it back.

.-.-.-.-

"Hey Isis." Sam smiled down at me.

I felt horrible. After I'd moved in with Finn and Kurt -their parents had insisted that I go and live with them, even if Sam's parents said it was okay- I'd written a _long_ entry in my diary, just pouring out everything I was feeling and analyzing it, searching through it and trying to figure things out. While I was doing that, I realized something. I had felt awful, and guilty about kissing Sam. I had been so conflicted then, and I hadn't even realized what I was saying when I'd said 'maybe'. He'd obviously taken it as a yes. I'm such a horrible person! I don't deserve someone as good as Sam. He should get to go out with someone like Quinn, or Santana. Someone pretty, and moderately intelligent.

"I can't be your girlfriend." I blurted.

His eyebrows screwed together and his blue eyes searched mine. "Why not?"

"Because I don't like you like that." Lie. Lie. I'm such a liar. Horrible, horrible liar.

"You're lying." He insisted.

"Don't make this harder than it already is for me." I begged- and I didn't need to act there. I wanted nothing more than to run into his arms and say 'Aha joking! Can't believe you fell for that!' but I couldn't. I didn't deserve to be happy.

"I'm not letting you go this easy. I'm going to fight for you. You'll see. You'll fall in love with me eventually." he smiled and walked off.

"Too late..." I whispered to his back, and tried not to cry.

-.-.-.-.-.-

"I'm so bored!" I groaned.

"There's nothing fun to do here!" Kurt agreed.

We entered the choir room and saw Craziness written on the board, and underlined numerous times. was standing at the front of the room waiting for us all to get in there.

"Are you kidding ?" Quinn asked, looking at the board with a terribly bored look on her face.

"I stopped being crazy because Santana told me it was illegal..." Brittney said flamboyantly.

"No. I'm not kidding. It seems that you haven't been very crazy lately. I think that I'm going to change that. Tomorrow, instead of going to school, you kids are all going to come with me, and we're going to go to a water park." Mr. Schu exclaimed.

"Are you high? It's september. It's freezing outside." Santana asked him, in the same bitchy tone she always used.

"Exactly Santana. Exactly."

-.-.-.-.-.

I sat on the bus, wishing I was anywhere but here. I was wearing another longsleeved shirt, telling everyone that I burned easily, so I'd have to wear it the whole time. I just hoped that the scars wont be outlined by the wet shirt in the water. Sam sat down beside me and I turned to protest, but he put his finger to my lips to shush me.

"I'm not here to seduce you. I just want to sit with you. Is that alright?" Sam asked, his blue eyes pleading.

I sighed, and he grinned knowing he'd won. "Fine. But you start counting shoulders and heads will roll."

He laughed. "I'll try to control myself."

I shook my head and looked out the window, putting some earbuds in my ears and humming quietly to a Marianas Trench song. Twenty minutes later we pulled into the huge amusement park, and I grinned in spite of myself. This was going to be fantastic.

"Let's go!" Everyone turned to see that it was Brittney that had yelled that, and she was already stripped down to her lime green string bikini, and ready to go. She launched herself out of the bus, dragging Santana behind her.

"Well, let's go then, Isis." Sam said, and we all went off to the water park.

"I bet you can't beat me down these." Sam whispered in my ear.

I jumped back and laughed. "That's what you think!" We waited until the person nodded, and launched ourselves down. I screamed, getting thrown in circles and spinning around, until I splashed into the pool below. Sam was already down.

"I win!" he grinned.

"Yeah but the more you weigh the faster you go!" I called back. _ So really you should've won..._ I shook my head- not going to have these thoughts now. I wont.

"This is the place we go!" I started singing, as we went down a river rapids course- we being Sam, Brittney, Puck, Santana and I.

"When the lights turn low  
>And there's no misleading or true feeling show<br>Let me know  
>And we'll take it slow<br>And baby if it gets to cold  
>We'll set our hearts above<p>

These are the sounds we know  
>And the songs that go<br>And go on repeated through our stereo  
>So let me know<br>Don't turn it low  
>Baby if you lose control<br>I won't leave you alone

We wake up  
>Our ears are ringing<br>But we won't stop till everybody's singing  
>We wake up<br>Our ears are ringing  
>Just right<p>

We got the style and no  
>That you can't control<br>So we'll let go, it's likely  
>Yeah that'll do nicely<br>Now stand up, lets take it to the top  
>We're never gonna spill a drop<br>And if you need me  
>You just pick up the phone<br>I won't leave you alone  
>I won't leave you alone<p>

We wake up  
>Out ears are ringing<br>But we won't stop till everybody's singing  
>And we wake up<br>Our ears are ringing  
>Just right<p>

We wake up  
>Our ears are ringing<br>But we won't stop till everybody's singing  
>And we wake up<br>Our ears are ringing  
>Just right<p>

We all fall down  
>But get up for the weekend<br>You said it yourself  
>Yeah we need this<br>We all fall down  
>But get up for the weekend<br>Just like we planned, oh, just like we planned

We all fall down  
>But get up for the weekend<br>You said it yourself  
>Yeah we need this<br>We all fall down  
>But get up for the weekend<br>Just like we planned, just like we planned

We all fall down  
>But get up for the weekend<br>You said it yourself  
>Yeah we need this<br>We all fall down  
>But get up for the weekend<br>Just like we planned, just like we planned!" I finished, and the others all finished with me. We were all laughing so hard.

"You know this used to be illegal." Brittney said and we all paused.

"What..?" I asked, and Puck just shook his head.

"Just pretend like you didn't hear it, and it wont matter." He said, and started heading towards a slide that was up one hundred feet, and just dropped, straight down.

"Holy sh-" Sam started

I smacked him. "There may be children here who may not want to be exposed to language such as that as of yet."

When we all got back on the bus, we were exhausted, and we were all wishing that we could've stayed longer. The bus started up and I leaned against Sam. "That was fun."

He wrapped an arm around me, and I sat up. I'd forgotten that it was him for a second. "That _was_ fun." He smiled.

"Have you ever heard of anti-jokes?" I asked, completely out of curiosity.

"No. What are anti-jokes?" He screwed his eyesbrows together in confusion.

"Well here's an example: Ask me if I'm a truck."

After a moment's hesitation he did. "Are you a truck?"

"Nope."

"What?" he laughed.

"Exactly. Say 'Knock Knock'."

"Knock knock." he chuckled.

"Come in!"

He laughed, and I was shaking so hard, with my eyes closed. They weren't all that funny,, but because they weren't funny, they were hilarious. "A horse walks into a bar. It walks back out again, knocking over some tables on its way."

"Any others?"

"Yes, these two poems are my favourites: 'Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I'" I laughed. "And, Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van."

We were both clinging to each other, laughing so hard we could barely move. The saddest part of all, is that the others had all been listening, and were now silent, not getting any of the jokes.

"But violets are purple..." Brittney said, softly.

I snorted. "Whatever gets you through the day hun..."

"This was the best day ever." Sam said, after we were all done laughing.

"It was." I agreed. "It sure was."

** Sorry that this is all I have to show you, but I have severe writers block, and it's late, and I really just want to finish this chapter and move on, because this idea of mine, for this chapter in general was a bad idea. PLEAASE REVIEW!**


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